November 12, 2023
If the church isn’t crying, it’s dying.
You may associate crying in church with funerals or some other solemn occurrence. The above quote, however, does not reference such occasions; it refers to an average Sunday Mass. When I hear babies crying or toddlers talking loudly during Mass, I think of this saying. I have listened to it in many parishes, and you may have already heard it. It is a fantastic help when I might otherwise be distracted or lose patience with parents and their children. It is a good reminder for us all, including parents, that children are welcome – they must be welcome because, without them, the church is literally dying away. We must do our part to make our parishes a welcoming home for families and children. I have some advice for families bringing their children to Mass, individuals without children, and finally, some thoughts for couples hoping to have children.
Families with Children. Welcome. We are so glad you are here! Occasionally, you might receive a look or ‘helpful advice’ from other Mass-goers. On those occasions, you do what is best for you and your family. When is the right time to take a child to the back, the cry-room, outside? I have no idea. You work with your children to get them accustomed to remaining in church. If you try to stick it out, I’m with you. I firmly believe that you, with your screaming child, belong with the congregation. I do know, however, that it is nice to have a designated place to escape to. What I have done with the cry room at each parish is remove all the toys and limit the number of books to ensure it doesn’t become a playful sanctuary where your child knows that wailing will gain them entry. If you decide to bring some select toys with you to Mass again, you know what is best for your child. My most significant advice is to hang in there and never give up on bringing your children to Mass.
Those without Young Children. Welcome. We are glad you are here! There may be crying children and screaming babies. That is a good thing. Give thanks to God! Please refrain from criticizing the parents who really are trying their best. Also, please don’t compare your children’s behavior from years ago to how those children are behaving. There is so much that parents today have to contend with, including a global pandemic that has affected their children in ways that we may never truly understand. Be kind and be Christ by welcoming the little children. A practical word of advice is to move into the center or far side of the pew – this leaves the easily accessible side for parents with children who may need to exit during Mass.
Couples Hoping for Children. Welcome. I am glad you are here. You may be struggling to conceive a child, and the sound of other children may weigh on your hearts. I have a special place in my heart for you. Please know that I care for you and desire to pray over you in your struggle. I encourage you to unite your heart with the Immaculate Heart of Mary.
Two Parishes, One Heart,
Fr. Adam