“Forgive Seventy-Seven Times”
24th Sunday in Ordinary Time – A
The understanding widower
After a long shift at the fire department, Matt Swatzell fell asleep while driving and crashed into another vehicle, taking the life of pregnant mother June Fitzgerald, and injuring her 19-month-old daughter. According to Today, Fitzgerald’s husband, a full-time pastor, asked for the man’s diminished sentence—and began meeting with Swatzell for coffee and conversation. Many years later, the two men remain close “You forgive as you’ve been forgiven,” Fitzgerald told Today.
“Forgive your neighbor’s injustice then when you pray, your own sins will be forgiven.”
This is something we all need to work on. You do not get through life without hurting others and being hurt yourself. It is easy to SAY you forgive someone but DOING it (if you are honest with yourself) is another matter.
Jesus, in the gospel, teaches that love and forgiveness go a long way to helping each of us see the human condition that all of us are caught up in. Forgiving just seven times is not enough Jesus says, we must forgive infinitely.
When I was a Chaplain in the Department of Veterans Administration, I ministered to many of our veterans who have addiction behaviors. Many times, they would seek out an appointment so that they could “work on the 8th step of the 12-step recovery program of AA. The 8th step is to: “Make a list of all persons they had harmed and become willing to make amends to them all.” This step is healing for both parties as I discovered in working with our veterans. We do not have to be in a recovery program to forgive or be forgiven, just a simple note or a phone call, or time in conversation over a cup of coffee can be very healing.
What may take more time for us to work on is that the longer we go without forgiving can lead to long-term grudges and even hatred for the other person. We know that God is merciful, and we want Him to show us mercy, but it is more difficult for us to show mercy to the ones who have hurt us – this takes time and prayer.
Forgiveness is one of the most frequently discussed issues in a spiritual awareness group. We used these Spiritual Awareness Groups in the VA to work with our veterans in learning to get in touch with their spiritual life. In the first few weeks of these groups we dealt with identifying guilt in their lives. In the second half of the group we focused on the means of forgiveness and finally offered a surrender ceremony.
Many people in our Catholic Church continue to deal with guilt, anger, lack of ability to forgive past hurts, especially school closing, sexual abuse and marriage and annulment issues.
Many families continue to be broken and shattered due to the inability to work together on forgiveness and reconciliation. Sometimes we feel it is easier just to avoid the person or persons who hurt us. What we do not realize, however, is that in that avoidance there builds grudges, vengeance, and more anger. Where there is anger, sin prevails. “Forgive your neighbor’s injustice then when you pray, your own sins will be forgiven.” I found a great quote that speaks to the inability to forgive:
“He who cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he must pass himself.” -George Herbert